中英双语小说休刊 质数的孤独

stroke his hands. He wanted to discover whether that cumbersome lump of desire that had taken root in his head would really melt like butter simply through contact with the classmate he was in love with.

生物课上，在设于地下室的试验室中所的，丹尼尔目不转睛地抱着马蒂亚切割成小块牛鱼肉，他要把白色的纤维组织与红色的连在一起。他很想摸一摸马蒂亚的那左手。他想其实，与他爱慕的班上来进行这样一次最简单的认识，会不会让那个深植于他人脑中所的欲望肿块像麦芽糖一样融解掉。

They were sitting close to each other. Both rested their forearms on the lab bench. A row of transparent flasks, beakers, and test tubes separated them from the rest of the class and deflected the rays of light, distorting everything beyond that line.

他们俩只见得很近，两个人都把小臂支在试验示意，一排透光的长颈罐、烧杯和试管把他们和其他同学隔开，灯光在这排水银上造转成折射，使借此它们看到的刚才紧接全剪切。

Mattia was intent on his work and hadn't looked up for at least a quarter of an hour. He didn't like biology, but he pursued the task with the same rigor he applied to all subjects. Organic matter, so violable and full of imperfections, was incomprehensible to him. The vital odor of the soft piece of meat aroused nothing in him but a faint disgust.

马蒂亚聚精会神地做到着试验，大概有十五分钟没法有浮现了。他并不一定喜欢免疫学，却仍以对待其他一切选修的条理态度来来进行这项试验。有机固体是如此龌龊而又展现出缺陷，令他很难理解。这块湿乎乎的鱼肉长期以来散发着腐肉的味道，除了让他有点恶心以外，并没法有激起他别的什么样子。

With a pair of tweezers he extracted a thin white filament and deposited it on the glass slide. He brought his eyes to the microscope and adjusted the focus. He recorded every detail in his squared notebook and made a sketch of the enlarged image.

只用一把镊子随之而来一丝细细的白色纤维组织，放在载玻片上，然后把胸部凑近光学仪器，调好焦距。他在有小方格的原话上历史纪录下每一个细节，还手绘了一个高频率的图纸。

Denis sighed deeply. Then, as if taking a backward dive, he found the courage to speak.

丹尼尔内心种会了一口气，就像要做到一次后空翻的赛艇动作那样，鼓足勇气开口真是话。

"Mattia, do you he a secret?" he asked his friend.

“马蒂亚，你有悄悄吗？”他问他的朋友。

Mattia seemed not to he heard, but the scalpel with which he was cutting another section of muscle slipped from his hand and rang out on the metal surface. He slowly picked it up.

马蒂亚似乎没法惊醒，但是他那把正在切割成另一部分肌鱼肉的解剖大刀却从手中所跌落，“当”的刚才落到铍这样一来。他跟著把大刀带回家了紧紧。

Denis waited a few seconds. Mattia sat perfectly still, holding the knife a few inches above the meat.

丹尼尔等了几秒钟。马蒂亚没法有动，短大刀停在了那块鱼肉顶端两厘米的空中所。

"You can tell me; you can tell me your secret," Denis went on. His veins pulsed with trepidation. Now that he had pushed himself over the edge and into his classmate's fascinating intimacy, he had no intention of letting go.

“你可以把你的悄悄告诉他我。”丹尼尔接着真是。此时，他之前更进了一步，越发接近他这位三人那迷人的内心世界。他脸颊上的肌鱼肉因焦虑而跳动着，但他没法有显然打消的打算。

"I've got one too, you know," he said.

“你其实吗？我也有一个悄悄。”他真是。

Mattia cleanly sliced the muscle in half, as if he wanted to kill something that was already dead.

马蒂亚一大刀继续下去把那块肌鱼肉条状两半，样子要杀死什么之前死了的刚才。

"I don't he any secrets," he said under his breath.

“我什么悄悄也没法有。”他咆哮真是道。

"If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," Denis pressed. He moved his stool closer and Mattia visibly stiffened. He stared, expressionless, at the scrap of meat.

“如果你告诉他我你的悄悄，我也告诉他你我的。”丹尼尔仍不肯罢休。他把自己的凳子拉近了一些，马蒂亚全身引人注意地迟钝紧紧，他面狠狠地注视着那块之前条状表层的牛鱼肉。

"We he to finish the experiment," he said in a monotonous voice. "Otherwise we won't be able to finish the chart."

“我们必须做到紧接试验，”他冷冷地真是，“否则就紧接不转成试验表格了。”

"I don't give a damn about the chart," said Denis. "Tell me what you did to your hands."

“那表格与我无关，”丹尼尔真是，“告诉他我你的手是怎么弄转成这样的。”

Mattia counted three breaths. Light molecules of ethanol stirred in the air, and some of them penetrated his nostrils. He felt them rising, a pleasant burning sensation along his septum, up to a point between his eyes.

马蒂亚做到了三次深排便。空气中所飘浮着极其大小不一的乙醇分子，有一些飘进了他的鼻孔中所的，他觉得这些大小不一的颗粒呼唤一阵令人愉快的灼热感，沿着鼻中所隔长期以来升到眉心。

"You really want to know what I've done to my hands?" he asked, turning toward Denis but looking at the jars of formalin lined up behind him: dozens of jars containing fetuses and amputated limbs of all sorts of animals.

“你真想其实我的手是怎么弄转成这样的吗？”他问道，同时把脸颊转向丹尼尔，但是胸部却无论如何抱着对方身后那一排福尔马林罐，那中所的面盛着各种动物的胚胎和四肢。

Denis nodded, quivering.

丹尼尔急不可待地点点头。

"Then watch this," said Mattia.

“那好，你抱着。”马蒂亚真是。

He gripped the knife in his fist. Then he plunged it into the hollow of his other hand, between his index and middle fingers, and dragged it all the way to his wrist.

他攥紧短大刀，把大刀扎进手掌和中所指两者之间的底部，然后长期以来划到手腕上。

。

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